It’s Friday so we’re once again doing our service to you by providing some quick thoughts to kill some time until you reach the weekend.
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Memorial Day has passed, meaning that summer has unofficially begun. And while we, like everyone else, are excited for the season, here are a few things we aren’t so excited about.

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Dear Shaving Cream Canister Manufacturers,

It’s 2010, there has to be some sort of engineering solution to that little bit of extra shaving cream that comes out after you finish squirting it in your hand. Its awful. I’ve tried rinsing it off… but more just sneaks out. It sucks. It turns the whole lid into a sick mess. So, please. Work on that. You can even use it in advertising. Like Coors Light with all their stupid gimmicks. This could be yours.

Forever Yours,

The Surly Birds

Every single time I hear a motorcycle blast its engine as it goes past a restaurant, I inevitably hear someone yell, “COOL!!” Every time. Without fail. Sometimes it’s not “cool.” Sometimes it’s just a big yell of some sort. But every single time. It’s like a go-to joke.
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Dear Safari,

We think you wrote “private browsing” when you really meant to write “porn browsing.” Just wanted to give you a heads up.

Yours,

The Surly Birds

Welcome to the latest feature that will never be continued on Surly Birds. This is where we take you through some of the world’s most impossible questions and then tell you the best answer to give. For instance, you’re at a bar and you run into someone from high school. There’s the initial excitement of a familiar face, then comes the question, “So man, what are you up to?” Well. Shit.

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A weird thing happened to me, I was driving and pulled up to a red light. I was behind a station wagon. In the back of the station wagon was a young teenager (I’d say 13ish) and a young girl (10ish? I don’t know ages). They were both rear-facing and just kind of blankly staring at me. They had no choice, where else could they look.
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So. Your buddy’s uncle just got out of the hospital. He just got in a hunting accident and was shot with a bow and arrow or something. You’re telling me the story, apparently, had the arrow been 2 millimeters to the right, he would have been a dead man. Sure. Whatever. I’m done listening. I feel like people are always a millimeter to the right from being dead.
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Any time I recycle something I immediately feel good about myself and my contributions to this world. It’s simple really. All I do is put one little piece of plastic into those big blue bins and I’m “doing my part.”
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