Umbrellas. Still Not Cool.
For some reason, umbrellas are a lot like sunglasses for me. They protect me from an element, they constantly break and I never seem to have them when I actually need them.
Now, let me provide some proper context for all this. I don’t really like to use umbrellas. I tend to think they make me look like a huge pussy. You know, like some dude who is afraid of getting a little wet. If you ask me, I’d rather just act all tough and endure the rain. (Don’t get me wrong though, I’d hate it 2.5 hours later when my clothes were just getting dry and starting to wrinkle.) Maybe this tough-guy shtick is to get attention, I don’t know. I never claimed to like it.
Either way, umbrellas suck. I feel like I’m still using the same design they used when they used to call them bumbershoots (origination 1896, big ups to Merriam Webster). I mean, it’s 2010. We’ve advanced in every aspect of design imaginable. Electric cars don’t even look THAT stupid anymore. Isn’t it time for the umbrella design to catch up with the rest of the world?
And that’s when this bad boy was brought to my attention. Some super umbrella that can withstand like 70mph wind.
My first thought was “awesome” and “wow, this thing utilizes a design inspired by the airfoil. That’s intense, and I don’t even know what it means” …but then I saw it. As cool as the technology is (and it is, see videos below) the thing looks ridiculous. Who in their right mind wants to be seen walking around with this dumb thing? It’s like a huge bike helmet on a stick. (At this point, it’s important to mention how dumb I think bike helmets look.)
For the time being, I think I’ll stick with my bumbershoot and top hat. At least it looks classic – even it if constantly breaks or gives me bad luck.
It’s 2009. Otherwise, agreed.