The Sleepover Effect
This issue can also be referred to as “The Most Annoying Kind of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Ever”. It refers to a childhood phenomena whereas I would come home after spending the night at a friend’s house and my parents would automatically assume I was “grouchy” or in a “bad mood”.
The thing was, my parents made these judgments as soon as I walked in the door. Nary a word had been spoken between us before I was branded as being in a shitty mood. Now, it wasn’t always true. Most times I was just tired. But the insistence that I was in a bad mood actually put me in a bad mood.
Granted, this was a childhood problem that ended with college and my moving out. However, I was reminded of this annoying occurrence this weekend. I am currently struggling with a sick case of seasonal allergies. It’s awful. And a particular day was particularly awful. As it happened, my eyes were all red and I was a tad out of it. I went to my second job and my boss remarked to me:
“Been smoking pot, huh? Whatever. That’s cool.”
First, she was assuming I was high. Second, she was TOTALLY cool with it (you can’t see it, but I said totally in a really funny/exaggerated way). But I wasn’t high. I had allergies. But if I told her about my allergies it would seem like the lamest/weakest excuse ever. So, in effect, she completely minimized what was really going on.
No. I’m not high on awesome drugs. I’m suffering an allergic attack because my white blood cells are flipping out about pollen or something.
I mean, there were only a few options for me. Either seem like a druggie smokin’ it up before a little bartending – which is fine, but seems stupid to want to appear high without actually being high… why not just take it all the way? – or, seem like some pathetic nerd who was stricken with seasonal allergies.
I chose just to shake my head.
More than anything, the terrible thing about the Sleepover Effect (as I’m calling it) is that once people believe something, they stick with it. Even without any evidence. I say you’re in a bad mood therefore you’re in a bad mood. I think you’re high therefore any attempt to say you’re not high is an excuse. No matter what I say to the contrary… nope. You’ve figured it out.
What ever happened to just trusting me. Or asking me how I feel. God dammit.
This ever happened to you assholes?
Always, always, ALWAYS. In fact, my Mom would usually force me to take a nap the moment I got home from a sleepover. Even when I was 13. It was like, “Dear GOD, woman, I just stayed with my best friends, one of whom read Anne of Green Gables until 9pm while the other one showed me her extensive Pez Dispenser collection!” Then, I would go and get an “attitude” with dear Mother and the weekend would be ruined.
Sorry Sarah and Jen, it’s true. My parents thought we got away with some CRAZY stuff at the Lacy house back in the day. You guys had MTV, after all.