Terrible Things: Out Of Your Life.com
Usually we Surly Birds try to make observations on the world around us and share them with you in a fun and time-killing way. Well, today, we plan to avail ourselves of this electronic pulpit to go on a rant against an ad that makes our blood curdle – the ad for outofyourlife.com.
I’d ask you to first take a moment and watch this garbage.
Basically, it looks like Cash 4 Gold went out and hired some cheap ad agency to “re energize” their brand – basically giving it some relatable name and some stupid filigree around their logo. Then they make this horrible ad.
So, we have this old woman sitting on her chair reminiscing about old boyfriends. Nevermind the whorish amount of eye shadow she’s wearing – I think what tipped me off that this woman was classless was the that she reflected everything clichéd thing about woman available to reflect.
Gold digger? Check. Shallow? Check. Materialistic? Check. I’m sure I’m forgetting some.
But here’s my real question… is this actually a problem for woman? I understand if its like an engagement ring that fell through. You probably don’t want that. But a cool necklace/bracelet/earring is still a cool necklace/bracelet/earring even when you’re not dating the dude. Right? They’re trying to create a need that’s not an actual need.
Aside from the horrible messages this ad sends about women, it’s just plain bad – complete with cheesy Garageband loop in background. So, the great scenario they thought up was for some random Sunday afternoon and this caricature of a woman puts on all her old jewelry and grabbed a bunch of travel brochures and went to the living room while her new boyfriend/husband was in the other room? Cool. Sounds like fun! Then, this woman decided, to sit there and talk out loud about all her ex boyfriends:
“Steve… crazy jealous but very generous”
Not to mention the line about a bikini that came out of nowhere and doesn’t make any sense.
Did the woman in this ad actually read the script? Did she realize people like her were giving women a bad name? Judging from the eye shadow, smokers rasp and terrible two-to-three tone hair she was probably a cashier at the local bowling alley before they gave her an outfit and a shower.
God dammit! Has anyone watched this horrible piece of trash calling itself advertising? The woman in this commercial is obviously doing well financially, there’s no way she needed like an extra $40 to make rent! It’s missing its intended audience! At least those horrible Cash 4 Gold ads are effective. They tell you exactly what you will get for gold. This one makes no reference to money you can make. Why else would people do it? It’s not like the process is easy. It’s a pain in the ass.
I guarantee you that whoever made these ads will be fired and this business will go back to being called “We Buy Silver”. Somebody back me up on this?!
Oh, and while I have everyone’s attention, girls, please stop wearing those strapless billowy dresses. I’m sure they’re comfortable and whatever but they make you all look fat and/or pregnant.