I will call YOU back
Say you’re driving down the road, enjoying a pleasant conversation with the girl you’ve been lusting after for nearly three months. You’ve finally got her on the phone, and things are going well. Then, you drive through a valley. You lose service. Here’s where I gotta stop and ask: who calls back? If you’re like most of the world, this is one of the most confusing moments in a person’s life. And the 3-5 minutes that follow it may be some of the most frustrating. Because the answer is that you’ll call each other back, simultaneously. Usually doesn’t work out so well does it?
What does end up working out, however, is a nice little rise in blood pressure on both sides. Your phone drops the call, so you try and call back. But since your crush got disconnected first, she tries to call you back just as you’re pressing send. The result: straight to voicemail. At this point, you’re annoyed. So you try again. So does she. This time, we get the ridiculous and hard to explain busy signal. Since we all know this isn’t possible in this world of satellite technology, we hang up. And we’re more annoyed. You try a third time, because surely one of you is going to wait it out this time. Nope. Voicemail. Now people are veering out of your way as you fly in and out of that double yellow line. Now comes the fun part.
You both give up and sit there. You simply made the decision to let the other party take the initiative. It’s sounds like the right thing to do, right? No way she is thinking the same thing you are…
Yes, she is.
At this point, you’ve gotta just move on. Forget that you guys were finally talking. Forget the conversation. Get on with your day. Because if somehow you two make a connection after all this goes on, the only thing you’ll do is recount what just happened. A fight will ensue. And you won’t get that date. Period. I mean, if your relationship can’t make it through a cell-phone mishap…
So here’s what we at the Surly Birds suggest. Designate a call-back person at the beginning of every relationship you make. Yes, you might get some weird looks. Yes, you might get rejected. Yes, you might even get slapped simply for implying “you guys wouldn’t make it through something so trivial”. But trust us, it’s the right thing to do. Take her out for a candlelight dinner, have a glass of wine, and just as Marvin Gaye comes up on your iTunes list, lean in and whisper, “Baby, if we ever get disconnected while on our cell phones, I’ll call you back. You sit and wait.”
To us, there’s nothing more romantic…
Amen.