Friday Roundup
What follows is another batch of random thoughts to help get you through your Friday. Enjoy and add your own in our comments section if you want.
- Is King of the Hill supposed to be funny?
- Hey Iran, America knows exactly how you feel (See: Presidential Elections, 2000)
- Hey, big news – Pittsburgh won the Stanley Cup. I think. I don’t know. Does anyone actually know? Hockey sucks.
- Team USA sucks at soccer again. Maybe I should try out next year, I don’t like to brag but I won my city league’s championship in 5th grade. I was an incredible defender.
- We promise to write more about this on another date, but we think that the only reason that snakes are so god awful scary is because they have incredible badass names: Viper, Black Mamba, Cobra, Taipan, Boa Constrictor (actually tells you how its gonna kill you), Anaconda, Water Mocasin and the list goes on.
- The top speed of a human is 30 mph, the top speed of a Bengal Tiger is 28 mph, we like our chances
- At what age do amusement parks stop being fun? I say 22.
- How come we never looks super classy when we drink vodka like they do in those Kettle One commercials? Our nights usually end at 4 am as we hail a cab outside a strange apartment building while semi-covered in vomit and missing a shoe.
- Top Chef Masters is boring.
- It’s so damn hot outside. Already.
- Have you seen those Matrix movies? Wow. Really something.
- The commercials with that woman for Progressive have got to stop. I can’t take it anymore Progressive. I’m losing it.
PETA was upset about Obama showing off his fly killing skills earlier this week. Really PETA? This is why nobody can take you seriously anymore.