Driving Thoughts
For me, driving is an experience that alternates from being horrible, incredible and terrifying. I’ve managed to wrangle some thoughts on the issue and I’d love for you to add some of your own.
- I don’t know what is worse. Drinking and driving or being the guy who is relieved when your drunk friend decides to drive… and then calling “shotgun.”
- We all have it. The one friend who is a super aggressive driver. He bangs on the steering wheel and yells stuff like “You god damn son of a bitch!” and just makes you feel completely uncomfortable at random intervals during long or short drives. I know because I’m that one friend. I’m sorry, I just get mad.
- You don’t need to be going less than 5 mph to make a turn off a road. I’m not advocating that you need to go screaming through a turn and busting off hubcaps and what not. But come on. Keep some speed.
- If you drive an incredible sports car, please speed past me really fast. I’m not being facetious. I really think it’s awesome. Just rub in how much better your car is than mine.
- Hey Jiffy Lube, I have no idea what any of this means. Just give me the cheap oil and that’s it. Don’t bring me out to your garage and upsell me. Wait… my license plate light is burnt out? Ok. Fix that. But that’s it. My wipers? What’s wrong with them?
- Getting my car inspected is the one time a year when I regret ignoring my balding tires, check engine light, oil leak and high pitch whining sound when idling.
- Is it really illegal to listen to an iPod while driving? Well, if that’s the case, the police can find my radio that keeps getting stolen and it won’t be a problem, will it?
- I think if you have four-wheel drive you automatically feel superior to other drivers when it starts snowing. Uh-oh, tires are slipping, whatever should I do? Oh yeah, pop them shits down to four-wheel and speed off into the snowy distance!
- Here is my checklist if a cop begins following me (even if I’ve done nothing wrong): go 2 mph under the speed limit, hands 10 & 2, iPod taken out, windows all the way down or all the way up, look for places to turn off, stop texting
- If you’re on an Interstate and you’re behind a semi that switches into the left lane, trust me, stay behind the semi. You might pass it, but in the long run you’ll find out why the semi was changing lanes. Trust me, those assholes talk.
- Everybody appreciates the “trucker wave”
Ok, your turn. Give us some comments and we’ll add them to the list unless they’re not funny/good.
When your the first car at the stoplight you must pay attention to the light. No one likes the asshole that does not immediately accelerate when the light turns green.
If you’re the first car waiting at a red light in the left lane and you’re planning on turning left, put on your signal. Every time. I hate coming up behind you thinking you’re going to drive straight, then as soon as the light turns green you throw on your signal and we have to wait for oncoming traffic. I could have got in the right lane and bypassed this crap if you had politely given a heads up.
Bryan F:
When you’re the second car at the stoplight, don’t immediately honk because the first driver is cautious and does NOT want to be killed by a bad driver trying to run a red light. No one likes the asshole that immediately honks when the light turns green to tell everyone that every second counts. In fact, everyone hates that guy.