Car Knowledge: The Bane Of My Existence
I don’t know anything about cars. Really. Not a goddamn thing. I have absolutely no clue how to do most things as it relates to a car. Oh sure. I have theories – “That sound? Probably a screw loose in the panel, it’ll go away”. I’ve had my car towed several times because I figured the starter was out only to find out a needed a new battery (I ALWAYS blame the starter because it’s name implies its in charge of the whole starting thing).
Now, most days, this complete mechanical ineptitude could matter less. Get in, turn on, drive, put in gas, etc.. Even though, I think technically I was even doing that wrong. I never saw the point of Premium gas or putting in more than $10 at a time. Apparently it’s bad for the car. But that’s the thing, and my major mistake when it comes to machines. I assume they work. I mean. A machine’s only real purpose is to complete the task for which it was made. So. Keep oil in it. Gas in it. Battery in it. Et Cetera and it should work for all time. Right?
Then. I go to Jiffy Lube. Jiffy Lube, the coldest most mother-fuckery of all the lube job places, is where my whole system breaks down. First, I rarely abide by that 3000 miles thing. I feel like its probably some scheme to get me to come in there more – like lather, rinse, repeat (the best marketing/consumer behavior ploy of all time) or nicotine. Second, I have never had a non-high mileage car so I always get suckered into the super-expensive oil. I even went in this time determined to say no. As far as I’m concerned, oil is oil. But once someone who DOES understand cars explains even the smallest thing for me, I immediately think I need to do it.
But then it happens. The “walk-through”, where they bring me out and tell me everything I need to fix. I can say no to most stuff. Air filter? No. Wiper blades? No. License Plate lights? Fine. Do that one. Oh, and your radiator is a little off, we need to drain it and refill it, it’ll be $100, cool? Wait… is that necessary? Yes. Fine.
And, just like that I’ve spent WAY too much money because I don’t know enough about cars to do anything myself or call out bullshit when it occurs. It’s the bane of my existence.
Oh. And they messed it up. Jiffy Lube always messes stuff up. Just ask anyone whose been there and at least one will have a “Jiffy Lube really fucked this up” story.
I have the same problem. I get screwed over every time I go to Jiffy Lube and am disgusted with myself for it afterward. Every time I swear it WILL NOT happen again but it does, consistently, every 4k miles or so. I hate myself.