There’s nothing we like more than a solid grocery store. Clean floors. Nicely faced packaging. A produce section brimming with fruits and greens. But, it’s not all incredible. In fact, there are some things that can be pretty annoying.
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Some Thoughts on the Grocery Store
Friday Quick Hitters: Christmas Edition
We’ve rounded up some of the best Christmas links the web has to offer. If you’ve got time – and you know you do – be awesome and check them out.
I Still Hate Vegetables
Isn’t this something you’re supposed to grow out of? Hating broccoli and green beans and all the other things located in the vegetable region of the food pyramid? I mean, I’m about a 1/3 the way through my life expectancy and I still gag when eating spinach (that’s not accurate, I still refuse to try spinach – but replace with it with something else equally disgusting and slime-like). I thought at some point I was supposed to just start liking stuff.
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It Doesn’t Make You Gay
All right guys and gals, I’ve got a question for you. Do any of you have that guy friend who is unable to admit another guy is good looking? You know, you’re all having a movie night and the girls are gushing over Johnny Depp or Paul Walker or whomever, and this guy noticeably feels awkward about it all. Then when asked about it, he simply mutters, “I don’t know. I’m a guy. I can’t tell if another guy is good looking or not.” Crap. Time to grow up, buddy.
My Apology to Soda Drinkers
Dear basically everyone in the world,
I realized something this weekend – something troubling, and honestly, quite upsetting. I realized that I’m one of those people I hate. I realized I’m one of the many Americans out there who gave up drinking soda of any kind in favor of other, more healthy alternatives. And I realized how pompous, and quite frankly, annoying I must come across to anyone else that hasn’t.
Fresca, Where Hast Thou Gone?
Fresca is without a doubt one of the greatest mysteries of my lifetime. When I was growing up, Fresca was a strong competitor of Sprite, Squirt and the rest. But more than that, it kind of defined its own genre among soft drinks. Probably cause it’s the only soda with enough pluck to base its flavor in grapefruit. (Although, not much pluck, because they labeled the flavor on the can as ‘citrus’.) But nonetheless, it was relevant to refrigerators across the country. Now, nothing. What happened?
Free Refills and Their Relationship With Being Cool
So, I don’t understand when people who work for awful jobs don’t just let me get stuff for free. Let me explain. Sometimes, I’ll go to a place and order a water. Then, instead of getting water, my cup will veer over to the Pepsi Cola. Yes. I understand that its cheap, but its not like I’m bringing a date to McDonalds and then being even more cheap on top of that. This happens when I’m by myself or with a friend who appreciates such thrift.
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The Breakfast Bar Conundrum
I’m not a big breakfast guy. I rarely eat it – even though I know its good for me. I just don’t like it, I really don’t like eating ever (too much of a process), but especially in the morning. Still, there are those days that I make the effort to stop at the 7-11 and pick up something to eat. And therein lies the problem. Picking a breakfast bar is a personal and revealing choice.
You are the Gum You Chew
There are two kinds of gum in this world. There’s the kind that’s a pleasure to chew – that keeps the flavor coming for most of the time it’s in your mouth. And then there’s the kind that tastes good for about five seconds before becoming a disgusting annoyance to your taste buds. The kind that eventually takes on the consistency of boat caulk.
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Wine
For hipsters, wine is the ultimate sign of the mastery of all things culture. For girls, wine is the ultimate way to show you’re classier than those who would drink “beer” or “jagermeister” or “homemade moonshine.” For guys, wine is the ultimate way to show how you’re mature and rich and potentially gay.
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