Yes, folks. It’s Friday again, blessedly. So sit back, relax and let us waste the time for you. By the time you’re done reading our collection of poignancy, it’ll be almost time to go home. Or at least two minutes later than the last time you looked. (that’s a lot of ‘times’)
Lemonade: Worlds Best Juice
For some time now, I’ve contended that lemonade is the best juice there is. Its refreshing, its summery, its visually appealing and it goes with everything. But time and time again I come up against the same argument, “Lemonade is not a juice.”
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Time To Go Home
At some point in each of our lives, our closest friends will end up living in a different city than the one you live in. It’s inevitable. And when the day comes where you’re sick of talking on the phone about how awesome your town of choice is, the joint decision is made to fly your close friend in for the weekend to stay with you. Big mistake. I know, it’s exciting at first and you’re counting down the days. But trust me, by Sunday, it will be the biggest mistake of your life.
Snakes: Toughest Names in Nature
A few weeks ago we brought it up – but it bears further discussion. The only reason snakes are so terrifying is that they all have incredibly badass names.
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Just Use A Guy’s Razor
All right, ladies. I’ve spent quite a while hoping the answer would just fall into my lap, hoping I’d see a commercial illustrating its many benefits – at least to justify its use. But no. I’ve seen and heard nothing that would lead me to believe a girl’s razor is better than a guy’s. And after visiting a friend this weekend, only to discover she shaves with Gillette’s Mach 3 razor, I was sold. There is no reason for women to continue with their own razors. No reason at all.
The Take-It-Easy Night
This last holiday weekend I accidentally became victim to a weird phenomena – the night where you plan on “taking it easy” but then, mysteriously, get out of control and make a mess of yourself.
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Shenanigans Is Out
Yes, it was funny at one time. It really was. A carefully dropped ’shenanigans’ was always enough to get at least a smirk out of the coldest of people. But those days are long gone. The word has lost all comedic sense, transforming into one of the most overused, unfunny expressions I’ve heard in a long time. Shenanigans, you had your day. Time to give it a rest.
Pink Eye: Worlds Best Excuse
Don’t feel like going to work? Girlfriend really wants you to come to her family reunion in Alabama over the weekend? Don’t have a paper done and need some extra time? There is one excuse to get you out of all of it. Pink Eye.
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The Car Chase Paradox
We Birds love movies. And we know you do, too. There’s just something to be said for getting away from it all and watching an action-packed thriller, a classic comedy, or even a well-done chick flick. But the one thing I don’t want to see in a movie is something too ridiculous to happen in real life. Unless I’m checking out Aliens, I want to be able to relate. And this is precisely why I don’t understand the car chase. I know, I know. They’re awesome. Well, here are some reasons to consider why they’re not.
Yeah, I Play a Little
So I constantly think of sweet stuff I could do at parties to make everyone look over and say, “wow, that dude is awesome,” and also have girls look over and say, “not only is that dude incredible and awesome, but I’d like to do stuff with him.” That’s why I want to know how to play instruments.
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