For 3 years and 11 months, no one cares about your sport. They make fun of it. Call it boring. Tell you how horrible it is compared to a real, American sport. But then comes the World Cup. The one month where people actual tolerate how awful soccer is to act like they care. And, most of all, you finally get to act like an insider.

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Do you think anyone ever said out loud or to his/her self, “You know, I think Saved By The Bell really hit its stride when Tori joined the cast.”

That’s all.

I like texting. I’m a fan of anything that means I don’t have to make a phone call. But. The problem is, I don’t think I’m any good at it. In fact, most times the whole thing is pretty stressful to me. Here’s why:
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This drummer wins. Wow. I really don’t know if the band truly understands what they have here.

It’s Friday so we’re once again doing our service to you by providing some quick thoughts to kill some time until you reach the weekend.
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Memorial Day has passed, meaning that summer has unofficially begun. And while we, like everyone else, are excited for the season, here are a few things we aren’t so excited about.

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Dear Shaving Cream Canister Manufacturers,

It’s 2010, there has to be some sort of engineering solution to that little bit of extra shaving cream that comes out after you finish squirting it in your hand. Its awful. I’ve tried rinsing it off… but more just sneaks out. It sucks. It turns the whole lid into a sick mess. So, please. Work on that. You can even use it in advertising. Like Coors Light with all their stupid gimmicks. This could be yours.

Forever Yours,

The Surly Birds

Every single time I hear a motorcycle blast its engine as it goes past a restaurant, I inevitably hear someone yell, “COOL!!” Every time. Without fail. Sometimes it’s not “cool.” Sometimes it’s just a big yell of some sort. But every single time. It’s like a go-to joke.
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Dear Safari,

We think you wrote “private browsing” when you really meant to write “porn browsing.” Just wanted to give you a heads up.

Yours,

The Surly Birds

Welcome to the latest feature that will never be continued on Surly Birds. This is where we take you through some of the world’s most impossible questions and then tell you the best answer to give. For instance, you’re at a bar and you run into someone from high school. There’s the initial excitement of a familiar face, then comes the question, “So man, what are you up to?” Well. Shit.

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