Arguments
You read a story, you rip it to shreds. You comment at the bottom of the page, you call the writer an idiot. You’re right. He’s wrong. Ah, the beauty of the Internet. Everyone’s a genius. Except for one little thing - it’s a lot easier to be right when no one argues back.
We think it’s time someone else got the last word. We think it’s time you matched wits with someone your own size. So come on, argue with us. Pick a topic. Prove us wrong. Do that, and you’ll not only get your own Guideline on the wall, but you’ll have eternal bragging rights on our site. As long as you keep winning that is. All we ask is that you keep it smart. Make a point. And don’t waste our time.
Hey dick, move. God dammit. Get out of the way. Seriously? You’re gonna wait 10 minutes for this spot? This spot? Come on man. I’m trying to get somewhere. At least move over so I can go around in a dramatic and aggressive move. Fine. We’re just gonna wait here? Good. You son of a bitch.
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We’ve spoken about car chases before. You know how we feel about them. We prefer reality. Maybe then, we should stop watching movies altogether, but that’s a topic for another time. Today’s post is about car chases, and why in the world people don’t just shoot for the tires every single time.
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Ever have that incredible dream that’s super awesome and you immediately realize that you need to tell others about it? You know. How all this CRAZY stuff happened and other people just need to hear about it? Well. I understand. But, I do have a couple rules to keep in mind when you’re slogging through it trying to remember stuff as you’re telling me.
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Ever heard of a little movie called The Hangover? It’s literally the funniest movie ever made in the history of movies. How do I know that? Every single person on Earth says so via Facebook, Twitter, Google Buzz, Friendster, Yammer, MySpace or any other of these bastard programs.
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“Man, are you smoking crack or something?” HAHAHAHHAHAHA. This is probably the single funniest comeback ever uttered by mankind. Literally, it’s so funny that every person uses it at least once in their life. It’s so awesome that teachers use it and AUTOMATICALLY seem cool to their kids.
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I’ll admit it. The first time I heard “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha I thought to myself, “Oh, god dammit, what is music coming to these days.” But then. I listened to the lyrics. I mean REALLY listened and I tell you what. I was stunned. Beneath all the loops and autotunage and stupid dollar sign for the S was a real anthem for social activism. Let’s take a look.
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It’s true, random eye contact is almost always awkward. No matter the situation. With some waitress across a room. With your boss. With your best friend. Every time it happens its horrible. And usually accompanied by some head movements to try and mask it. A stretch. A look over the shoulder. But. The most awkward of all eye contact is creepy rearview mirror eye contact.
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No. I don’t like holidays. Pretty much any of them. Sure, I guess that a few have a couple redeeming qualities but for the most part its just plain awful. Cards. Presents. Special programming. Foods centered around turkeys. All of it. But no other holiday presents all the little annoyances of New Years Eve.
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We’ve rounded up some of the best Christmas links the web has to offer. If you’ve got time - and you know you do - be awesome and check them out.
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New feature on Surly Birds, we’re going to highlight dudes (or dudettes) who win. No reason to argue it. No reason to analyze it. These people just flat-out win. For instance, this guy won because this is the best approach to Christmas lights we’ve ever seen.
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Posted in Arguments | 5 Comments »
