New Years Eve: Worst Holiday of the Year

No. I don’t like holidays. Pretty much any of them. Sure, I guess that a few have a couple redeeming qualities but for the most part its just plain awful. Cards. Presents. Special programming. Foods centered around turkeys. All of it. But no other holiday presents all the little annoyances of New Years Eve.

First, let me say that Valentine’s Day was close, but I’m pretty sure that comes from a bitter place. Further, you’re not expected to participate unless you have a significant other. It’s harmless. Not NYE though. Not at all. Below is a nice and compact bulleted list of reasons to hate NYE.

• Plans: You have to make plans beforehand. Maybe it’s a bar you go to all the time. You’re a regular there. They know your drink. But NYE? No dice. Gotta buy a ticket. You have to spend $80 to get admission to a bar full of assholes. Not only that, but you almost never get to hang out with all the people you want to. One friend will buy a ticket here for $75. Your cheap friend will refuse to spend that kind of money and suggest you guys just buy some beers and stay in. Your friend who thinks he’s a player thinks that’s bullshit and wants to get some sweet kiss-action. Then, your buddy calls you and tells you he bought some tickets to this other place with some people from work. Awesome. That’s exactly how I’d want to spend NYE, with your work friends. Fuck. Soon, you end up waiting too long to do anything cool because each person in your group has different plans and you wind up at home watching Ghost Hunters.
• Amateur Hour: Back to the $80 to get admission to get into a fucking PACKED bar full of assholes. Nothing brings out all the dudes and dudettes from the suburbs who never go out and never hang out like NYE. All the sudden it’s a mad rush downtown to get shitfaced at a bar that’s not located in a strip mall. So, inevitably, this means a huge increase in crying/dramatic girls, dudes who are out to prove a point and people who love making out in a dark corner. Fine. I get that. I would just like someone to acknowledge that the only reason this bar is even around is because of people like me. And my degenerate friends. People who are out here supporting everyone. Supporting the cause. Making sure that this place doesn’t go under. Paying for the air conditioning. Tipping. But no. Tonight, the one night I’d want to cash in on all the hard work I’ve done, I’m forced to sit at some booth facing a wall because I didn’t get there at six o’clock. Oh, and this guy is barfing now. Great.
• Pressure: No holiday has pressure like NYE. If you don’t have a BF or GF you can’t enjoy yourself because you know midnight is coming. And with midnight comes having to kiss someone as tradition demands*. Fuck. I couldn’t find anyone to kiss the last 364 days, but tonight, when the pressure is on, I’m supposed to deliver. Just what I want. If it were up to me I would hang out with the friends I managed to get here with and get drunk and talk about baseball and stuff. But no. Because I’m single I have to be scouting out girls the whole night and try to talk to them even though I have no confidence and get uncomfortable with the whole situation. Then, add in that your buddies are watching you or trying to point out girls for you “Dude, go talk to her. Just do it. Stop being a pussy.” Because, you see, I won’t and I will just give up. Then, when it does strike midnight I’ll look around all melancholy and be depressed for a second. Then, after a little bit we’ll leave but be unable to find a cab because the people who never party feel like it improves their experience if they interact with a real live cabbie.

I mean. I really hate NYE. So, those are my three big reasons, what do you think? Post some more reasons below, I got disgusted and had to stop.
*Please note: I’m aware that as a red blooded male I should think this is awesome, the whole thrill-of-the-hunt thing. But I don’t. I never like this. It’s pressure I don’t need.