A Dying Art
I’m not going to try for any clever or coy intro to this little blurb. Writing something really funny on a bathroom stall is a lost art. I happen to think that the Internet, texting and other mobile communication advancements are threatening to eliminate one of the finer but less appreciated arts of our generation.
There’s nothing like standing at a urinal and reading something that makes you laugh unexpectedly. To this day, I still remember one that I read in college (and I’ve had other conversations with others who’ve been touched by this same scribbled statement). It was written in small and precise handwriting on the wall in front of a urinal and it simply said:
I once was a vampire.
It made me laugh. It still makes me laugh. One, because the implication that one could stop being a vampire. Even though I hate everything vampire (I’ll get into this in-depth on another day) I still know that there are certain rules that cannot be broken. Second, I like to imagine the guy who wrote that. If he meant to be funny and how that five-word phrase crossed his mind.
Now, please realize, I’m not talking about the racist and ignorant stuff that litters most stalls. I’m not even talking about those certain stalls that have entire point-counterpoint arguments detailed – which range from intellectual to “your mom” and “balls”. I’m talking about the generally funny things that you see and chuckle. The things that stand out and uplift us. The stuff that’s witty and you really don’t know how someone thought to put that on there.
I’d ask you all, if you have any favorites, to post them below – or, what the hell, go out there and write your own personal witticism for all to see, you can send us that too.
And one last question… do women write stuff all over their stalls? I feel like its probably a male phenomenon, but I don’t know. Looking for a little perspective on this one.
this is definitely not just a male phenomenon.
my favorite female graffiti is a small scribble in the left stall of my favorite bar. amidst the huge scrawls of “i love dan” and “julie + jason = 4ever” are three little words in red pen. “i hate everyone”. i die every time.
I was in a beach bathroom yesterday and someone had carved “777″ and a large cross (along with a series of smaller, tasteful crosses) into the toilet seat. That was a first.
Girls definitely write in the stalls. When I think of excessive graffiti, I’m reminded of Midnight Rodeo, a classy establishment in Springfield, MO. It was always a delight to read the eager, often illegible scrawl of the city’s finest. Men seem to wax philosophical, as seen in the vampire confession or the common “I banged your sister, it was real good” observation. Girls are just vindictive. We see a lot of “Charlene is a STUPID HORE” and the like in our bathrooms.
“i once was a vampire” sounds like the beginning of a never finished limerick. I would imagine due to one of the following:
-writers block
-the sudden need for the free hand to stop writing and correct an errant pee stream
Another vampire reference on a bathroom stall, no joke:
Michael Jackson is a vampire. Man in the Mirror was a lie.
Because writing on stalls is done neither for money or public celebrity, it is the last true art of our generation.