Fresca is without a doubt one of the greatest mysteries of my lifetime. When I was growing up, Fresca was a strong competitor of Sprite, Squirt and the rest. But more than that, it kind of defined its own genre among soft drinks. Probably cause it’s the only soda with enough pluck to base its flavor in grapefruit. (Although, not much pluck, because they labeled the flavor on the can as ‘citrus’.) But nonetheless, it was relevant to refrigerators across the country. Now, nothing. What happened?
Fresca, Where Hast Thou Gone?
Big in 09: Marathons
I’ve noticed a new trend in America. It’s not the iPhone or a new television show. It’s not the whole I’m-a-chef-because-I-watch-cooking-reality-shows-on-TV thing either. It’s marathons. Everyone is now “training for a marathon” or “competing in a half-marathon.” Where did this come from?
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We All Know You’re Not Working From Home
We’ve had a lot of nice weather here recently. About two weeks ago there was snow on the ground. Now, we’re all in shorts. And like it does every year, this onslaught of spring has spurred a chain reaction in offices throughout the country - the “I’m gonna be working from home” email. Look, we know you’re lying. Just tell us you’re gonna be on the links all day. We’ll respect you more.
A Dying Art
I’m not going to try for any clever or coy intro to this little blurb. Writing something really funny on a bathroom stall is a lost art. I happen to think that the Internet, texting and other mobile communication advancements are threatening to eliminate one of the finer but less appreciated arts of our generation.
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The Single Scariest Moment of Your Life
I know what you’re thinking - being thrown in a pit of snakes. Standing on the edge of a skyscraper. Basically the one part of Fear Factor that you wouldn’t have survived. But no. What I’m talking about is much, much scarier. And I’m certain it’s happened to all of you. I’m talking about when you’re having an AIM conversation with a buddy or co-worker and you accidentally mix up the windows. That millisecond after you press the Return button is the single scariest moment in a person’s life, guaranteed.
Restaurant Folk
If any of you have ever worked in restaurants, you know it’s a special little world. You never fail to run into some of the most unique people ever. Well, by “unique” I really mean weird and unnerving people that you really can’t imagine are actual people that live more than just when it’s their shift. I mean, some of these people make it hard to imagine that they have friends, family and generally anyone that cares for them. As a service to those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of working in a horrible chain restaurant, I’ve compiled a list of the people you’ll run into.
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No, I would not like to pay twice as much for a DVD
Here’s a little something about me you should know: I love movies. But more than that, I love collecting them. So when Frost/Nixon came out yesterday, you can bet I was at the store picking up my widescreen copy. My store of choice is Best Buy - not only for selection, but unbeatable price. New releases for $15 bucks. So while I was in line, I got to thinking - is anyone shopping at those mall movie and music stores anymore? And if so, what possible reason could they have for doing so?
The Most Fun Restaurant Ever. Ever.
So, I like my friends. We all go way back and can recount the good times while looking forward to new, even better ones. Great friends. Great times. But I do have one complaint. We never seem to have THAT good of a time at the Olive Garden.
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I will call YOU back
Say you’re driving down the road, enjoying a pleasant conversation with the girl you’ve been lusting after for nearly three months. You’ve finally got her on the phone, and things are going well. Then, you drive through a valley. You lose service. Here’s where I gotta stop and ask: who calls back? If you’re like most of the world, this is one of the most confusing moments in a person’s life. And the 3-5 minutes that follow it may be some of the most frustrating. Because the answer is that you’ll call each other back, simultaneously. Usually doesn’t work out so well does it?
An Open Letter to my iTunes
Dear iTunes,
Listen, I really like you. I think we definitely have a future together – I just don’t know if I like you like THAT. You know? Sure. Most days I put you on random and you’re incredible. You instinctively pick all the songs that I want…no… NEED to hear. But then, there are those other days…
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